If I Can't Have You

Abby Davison only wants to focus on her career as a nurse, as she has no time for dating after a bad breakup over a year ago. When her mother presses her about settling down, Abby tells her a little white lie: she’s dating Mark Thornton, the handsome and gruff rancher who both frustrates and makes her heart flutter every time they meet.

When Mark overhears Abby's lie, he decides to cut her a deal: to keep his silence regarding their make-believe relationship, she'll come to live with him on his ranch until his broken arm heals.

Despite her wounded pride and initial trepidation, Abby can’t help but begin to fall for the guarded Thornton brother as the days pass on his ranch.

The black sheep of the family, Mark makes no secret that he prefers horses over people. His brusque exterior, though, only conceals hidden depths and a wounded heart that Abby understands all too clearly.

As feelings start to bloom between them, neither is sure what is real and what’s make-believe. Yet the sizzling attraction between them is anything but fake, and with every kiss and every touch, they fall harder for each other.

But as their pasts begin to creep toward them, unearthing secrets both would rather keep buried, Abby and Mark must learn to trust each other—or risk losing the love both never knew they needed.

Abby shook her head as she watched her mother Fiona depart Fair Haven Memorial, where Abby worked as a nurse. She never lied to her mother, but this one little white lie was totally worth it if Abby could avoid another one of Fiona's horrific blind dates.


She winced a little as she thought about the man she'd chosen as her fake boyfriend. Mark Thornton! Of all the men in Fair Haven, Washington, it was his name that had popped into her head.


When Fiona had told Abby that she'd set her up on a blind date again, Abby had panicked. She'd lied to her mother and said that she was dating Mark. Fiona had bought the lie, and now Abby had to figure out how to tell her mother that they weren't a couple.

They weren't even friends, for Christ's sake.
Why Mark?

It's because he's my patient right now, she reasoned. He was on her mind for a good reason.
Not because he fascinated her despite his surly personality.


"Abby, I just finished with Mark Thornton," Dr. Perry Smythe told her in his barking tones.
Dr. Smythe had a tendency to yell everything he said, even though he was, in fact, one of the nicest people Abby had ever met. He just had a voice that carried.


"Do you need me to do anything else with him?" she asked.
Dr. Smythe handed her Mark's chart, pushing his too-loose glasses up his beaky nose.

Dr. Smythe looked to be of an indeterminate age. At times, he looked thirty; other times, he looked closer to sixty. He was actually hedging toward fifty, if Abby remembered right. He'd run the emergency department at Fair Haven Memorial for close to twenty years now.


"No, I told him he's free to go. Tell Janine that she can clean his room." Dr. Smythe considered her. "He asked about you, though."


Abby stilled. "He did?"


"Asked if you were coming back to see him. I told him you had work to do."


She couldn't stop herself from smiling, although it was more of an incredulous smile.

"Interesting. Well, maybe he wanted to be rude to me again."


"What?" Dr. Smythe's exclamation practically shook the windows.


"It's nothing." Abby shrugged. "He's not the nicest patient. Anyway, no harm, no foul. I'll see you later."


Even though Dr. Smythe didn't press the matter, he was normally very protective of his staff. They received all kinds of patients—nice ones, mean ones, crazy ones—and he did his level best to keep his staff from any abuse.


Why had Mark asked about her? She frowned. He was a weird guy. She couldn't make him out at all. One moment, he was insulting her, and then the next moment, he wanted to see her. He must be a sadist, she thought.


She told Janine that Mark's room was available. Before she started her rounds, she needed some coffee. When she pulled out her wallet to see if she had any cash, she realized that she didn't have her phone.


Shit! She must've left it somewhere on her rounds. When was the last time she'd had it?
She thought backward, remembering that she'd had it in her hand when she last saw Mark.

Of course, she thought with an inward eye roll. All roads led back to Mark Thornton, apparently.


Entering Mark's room, she glanced around for her missing phone.


"Looking for this?"
Abby jumped, barely stifling a yelp.

There was Mark Thornton, with her phone in his hand.


"Why are you still here?" she asked. She moved to grab her phone, but he didn't let her have it.


"I wanted to ask you something," was his gruff reply.


"Great. What do you want now?"

She didn't care that she was being rude to a patient. Sometimes a person could only take so much abuse.
Mark Thornton had insulted her, snapped at her, and had driven her to distraction for months now. She had no interest in whatever game he wanted to play.


He stood up. Even with his arm in a sling, his face pale and wan, he managed to look imposing. Handsome.
Obnoxious.


"When exactly did we start dating?" he asked.

He almost seemed bored as he asked the question, like women were always lying about being his girlfriend.


Abby froze. She looked into those eyes of his and wondered if this was exactly how deer felt when they crossed paths with a hunter.
Like he'd leveled a target right at her heart.